Parents who are home with their kids face an enormous challenge. If they are part of a marriage then often face an even bigger challenge. When the mother, which has been the more likely scenario, is home with the children, and the father is working it would seem like there would be little need for strife or argument. However, there often comes a time when couples will fight over the exact responsibilities they have in their roles. This is pretty common and understandable when you think about it.
Often times the parent who goes to work comes home and expects that the children have been looked after and that the house is in good shape. The other parent may expect that when the employed parent goes home that take over the responsibilities with the children. Of course both parents figure the nighttime is their time to relax and take a break. However, these fights can be stopped before they even get started with just a little more communication. Here are a few things that you and your spouse can do to make sure that you are doing everything in your power to keep the agreement happy and healthy.
The first thing is you can talk about the arrangement. Many parents have assumptions that are not addressed and so when what they assumed is not the reality, then they begin to feel like the other parent is not living up to their end of the bargain. Do yourself, and your spouse a favor and tell each other very seriously what you expect from them in the arrangement.
If it helps you can always make out a schedule for the week that should help to get a clear picture of what each parent is doing. For the parent working have sympathy for the stay at home parent. It’s a tough job and there isn’t a lot of adult contact. Be mindful of that when discussing.